THE 2015-16 NBA season is drawing to a close. The Miami Heat, an amalgamation of pieces that started out as a veteran heavy, slow-paced, defensive stalwart was forced by chance and choice to evolve into an unexpected, rookie playing, up tempo, scary group that with a little more luck and a lot less injuries, could have gone even further than their exit to the Toronto Raptors in Game 7 of the 2nd round.
So let us celebrate our city, our basketball town, our team, with the most robust and epic poetry slam possible.
There once was a team called the Heat
A team that no one could beat
Except for Steph
And the NBA refs
But who cares, this season was sweet.
From the Three Oh Five
Best sports franchise in history
Bosh, please get well soon
Ballad of the Dragon
From Slovenia with love, a warrior of
Couple of firsts to the Suns, to South Florida he comes
how much more dangerous could he be?
A tragic beginning, then his fat began thinning
and teeth, not all, less three.
figuring things out and Mike Ryan would doubt
every three from the top of the key.
Preseason was bad, mid-season was sad
the Dragon was waking slowly.
3rd seed in the rear-view, 1st round gave a preview
of what a fire-breathing Goran could be.
Reigning supreme, like a hero in a dream
the Dragon hath awoken fully.
The Sonnet of Rook One and Rook Two
DRAFTED tenth and pick forty
J-Rich and the college hero
Justise Winslow and Agent Zero
both better than rookies, day one;
A defender supreme and a jumpshooting fiend
Our Rook 1 and Rook 2
in the clutch they came through
Eventually becoming key parts of the team;
Rook 1 the Defender, Rook 2 the Flamethrower
Rook 1 gets the stop
Rook 2 makes the shot
Best draft class? Yeah, this one is over;
Justise League of the Triple A Arena
Rook 1 is a rock
Put the ballhandler on lock
Hard work, sweat and rebound cleaner;
J-Rich picked up nearly free
this Rook 2 he’s a sniper
Barely out of his diapers
Also, post-break the best shooter in the league;
Justise and J-Rich, Rook 1 and Rook 2
The future looks bright
These two yutes are alright
And I love those two dudes more than you.
We started the year off like a child
Our hearts all full of hope run wild
As we fought to believe again
The team was grasping for relevance
Though the odds were stacked against us
Along the way we lost some men
Chris Bosh fell once more
Rookies forced out on the floor
But still they refuse to give in
Rio and Birdman no more
3rd seed after adding Joe
Pace and space, offensive flow
Back in the playoffs again
Heat twitter went on the rage
A Dragon freed from his cage
and Charlotte made to bend
Wade was emphatic
Hassan’s injury was tragic
Game 7s became a trend
Relying on Dragic
Luol was pure magic
The team fought and clawed
The Raptors were flawed
But our heroes were slain in the end
Though our team was done
No sadness would come
No tears were shed
No tantrums, no bile
No anger or rants
Just a Pat Riley smile
And a promise to sit down with Durant.
Ode To Dwyane Wade
Three, Flash, D-Wade
More reliable than an Escalade
Moves smooth as butter and sweet as marmalade
Blowing up defensive schemes like live hand grenades.
I call him champ and Mr. Dwyane
We call him chef when he catches flame
Split your defense and break your brain
Don’t shoot that 3! Oh, he made it rain.
Dwyane Wade is the Rickest Rick
Kicked a Sessions in the prick
Jump kicked Garnett with a flick
Elbows Lance, he don’t give a sh-.
Six foot four but blocks like Dikembe
Bankshot making, ankle breaker
Every guard you send his way
becomes a victim of chef’s flambé.
Three is number 1 in Wade County’s heart
The greatest in the end
There’s no mystery if you forget his name
He’ll make you respect his place in history
Best of #HeatTwitter:
Special thanks go out to some fine folks on twitter for their contributions to this article and to making this season as fun as possible:
And finally, congratulations to new Memphis Grizzlies head coach David Fizdale!
Thanks for the fun times and reading this nonsense. Looking forward to Ring #4 next season!